Full Name:
Michael Welch
Do you have a nickname or what do your friends call you?
Mike
Birthplace:
Taunton, MA
Current hometown:
Taunton, MA
Favorite city and why?
I don't really have any "location pride." I like to visit Salem though, for the history and the sights, and the events are geared more to what I like.
Birthday/Age:
November 2, age 37.
How would you describe yourself physically?
Negatives: bald, overweight, overall unattractive.
Positives: nice eyes and smile. Cool beard and tattoos.
Lost 28 pounds in last 10 weeks.
That’s crazy! Whatever you’re doing, stick with it.
Yeah, I’m pretty happy. I followed the Rollins advice of “eat less, eat better, move your body.” Gym three days a week for two hours at a time, diet change, and the biggest factor was cutting my calorie count to between 1200-1400 a day.
Michael Welch
Do you have a nickname or what do your friends call you?
Mike
Birthplace:
Taunton, MA
Current hometown:
Taunton, MA
Favorite city and why?
I don't really have any "location pride." I like to visit Salem though, for the history and the sights, and the events are geared more to what I like.
Birthday/Age:
November 2, age 37.
How would you describe yourself physically?
Negatives: bald, overweight, overall unattractive.
Positives: nice eyes and smile. Cool beard and tattoos.
Lost 28 pounds in last 10 weeks.
That’s crazy! Whatever you’re doing, stick with it.
Yeah, I’m pretty happy. I followed the Rollins advice of “eat less, eat better, move your body.” Gym three days a week for two hours at a time, diet change, and the biggest factor was cutting my calorie count to between 1200-1400 a day.
How would someone else describe you physically?
Fat with a big beard and lots of tattoos, unattractive.
The first thing people notice about you is…
Beard.
Totally beard. Bald and beard.
It’s amazing how memorable this beard is. I get remembered at horror conventions because of it, from celebrities and “regular folk” alike. Last week in Salem the woman running the shop I was in remembered me from two years ago because of it. She even remembered the transaction. Customers come into my store and tell my employees they talked to “the guy with the beard.” I think the fact that it’s red is just as important as the size (that’s what she said?).
If that’s what she said you might want to cut down on your “coffee breaks” at work.
Hair Color/Eye Color/Race?
Red (beard)/brown (remaining hair), both natural. Eyes are blue. Caucasian.
Sexual orientation?
Heterosexual.
Religion, if any?
None.
Are you superstitious at all? Any phobias?
Not superstitious. I have an irrational fear of trying new foods.
Do you smoke/drink?
No.
Any bad habits?
Have chewed my fingernails my entire life. I'm pretty tame. I just got over a problem with stress eating.
Stress eating of your fingernails?
Yeah, that’s true. It’s not even always bad stress. I devour my fingernails watching a movie. I even chew the skin around them.
Current occupation/Dream job:
Manager of a Newbury Comics store. Dream is to be a writer (particularly nonfiction).
That’s weird. I’m a writer and my dream job is to be a manager of a Newbury Comics.
Wanna trade?
The next time we get a snow storm I’m going to say, “Damn, I should’ve traded with Scott.”
What do you like to do when you’re not at work?
Read, write, watch movies, lose myself in my head.
What is your zombie outbreak survival plan?
Pack myself in tight wherever I am (really hoping it's not in a car). Wait for the hordes to spread out and thin, surviving on what I have at my disposal (really, really hoping it's not in a car). Once that has happened, branch out to the next home and begin foraging. Hope I am skilled enough at killing to clean out whatever zombies may be in each house, or outside. If I'm successful, continue branching out and honing my new found skills.
Weapon of choice:
Fireman's axe (the kind with the pick on the other end).
Do you have any special skills?
Writing, math, putting up with retail-level bullshit. I am also incredibly, break-myself-into-pieces-for-you, loyal once I get to know someone well, which I consider a skill. Unfortunately, most people take that loyalty for granted so I have to distance myself from them.
Did you go to college and, if so, what for?
I did not. Couldn't wait to leave high school and be done with organized schooling.
Any
pets? If so, what are they and what are their names?
I have a rescued cat with half a tail named Fulci.
I have a rescued cat with half a tail named Fulci.
What is your favorite
animal?
Cat, ever since I can remember.
Speaking of pets, any pet peeves?
Pretty much anyone who forgets that they need to be a functioning member of society and that life isn't all about them. I understand social drinking and am fine with it. Being drunk in public, though, is hard for me to deal with. I hate having to watch over people who choose not to be able to take care of themselves in the pursuit of “fun.” Their selfishness is unfathomable, making it more difficult for people to enjoy themselves because they’re being loud and obnoxious. I also have a problem with people who forget that looking out for #1 doesn't mean doing it at the expense of everyone else. This includes all manner or rude and/or inconsiderate people.
Favorite/Least favorite Food:
I am a chicken finger connoisseur, though I stopped eating them when I started losing weight. I despise anything with tomato in/on it.
What is your favorite quotation/motto/saying?
"Part animal, part machine."--Henry Rollins.
What is the best thing that ever happened to you?
Meeting Clive Barker. That entire day (HorrorHound 2010) was magic, with that being the top moment.
I finally got some quality Clive Barker time when I was coordinating a convention we booked him for in Los Angeles. The hardcover copy of Books of Blood he personalized/autographed for me is one of my prized possessions because I didn’t have to ask him for it and it was a “Thank You” gift for making sure he was taken care of during the convention. What a sweet person!
I agree wholeheartedly. He treated me as if I was the celebrity, asking all kinds of questions about me and my tattoos. Wonderful man. Joe Berlinger was at the show filming for his documentary on Barker. I hope he will one day finish it.
Cat, ever since I can remember.
Speaking of pets, any pet peeves?
Pretty much anyone who forgets that they need to be a functioning member of society and that life isn't all about them. I understand social drinking and am fine with it. Being drunk in public, though, is hard for me to deal with. I hate having to watch over people who choose not to be able to take care of themselves in the pursuit of “fun.” Their selfishness is unfathomable, making it more difficult for people to enjoy themselves because they’re being loud and obnoxious. I also have a problem with people who forget that looking out for #1 doesn't mean doing it at the expense of everyone else. This includes all manner or rude and/or inconsiderate people.
Favorite/Least favorite Food:
I am a chicken finger connoisseur, though I stopped eating them when I started losing weight. I despise anything with tomato in/on it.
What is your favorite quotation/motto/saying?
"Part animal, part machine."--Henry Rollins.
What is the best thing that ever happened to you?
Meeting Clive Barker. That entire day (HorrorHound 2010) was magic, with that being the top moment.
I finally got some quality Clive Barker time when I was coordinating a convention we booked him for in Los Angeles. The hardcover copy of Books of Blood he personalized/autographed for me is one of my prized possessions because I didn’t have to ask him for it and it was a “Thank You” gift for making sure he was taken care of during the convention. What a sweet person!
I agree wholeheartedly. He treated me as if I was the celebrity, asking all kinds of questions about me and my tattoos. Wonderful man. Joe Berlinger was at the show filming for his documentary on Barker. I hope he will one day finish it.
What is the worst thing that ever happened to you?
Constant, daily bullying freshman year of high school, from so many different sources. This was before bullying was a buzz word and was mostly overlooked/ignored.
Ever had your heart broken? Is there a story worth telling behind your answer?
Yes. I can't just date someone. Meaningless relationships and meaningless sex are worthless. I have to get to know them for a while and grow the friendship, which is where the real feelings either emerge or don't. Unfortunately, when I fall for someone and express my feelings I am always the only one of the two who falls, and the friendship suffers and dies because both of us become uncomfortable and awkward.
Ever broken someone’s heart? Is there a story worth telling behind your answer?
If I've broken a heart I don't know about it. I often wonder if I’ve ever had someone masturbate while thinking of me.
The best is if you can watch them while they do it over webcam. It’s better when it’s a girl, but I’m not picky. I just love to be loved!
What is the best thing you’ve ever done?
I’d like to think I help people make their lives better. Not everyone, mind you, but there are people in my life, and there have been several over the years at different times, who I will bend over backwards for without them asking. Some people are very special to me and I don’t take that for granted, so I do everything I can for them. Many of them have taken advantage of that in the past and it causes pain that I never want to feel again, but I’ve also grown some incredible friendships.
What is the worst thing you’ve ever done?
I ran over a squirrel once, but it didn't die. I broke its back and in the rearview mirror I watched as it scurried to safety dragging its useless hind quarters. While I didn't do it on purpose, I knew I'd given that squirrel a fate worse than death. You know how they say that most auto accidents happen within five miles from home? Same goes for squirrel mutilation. I had just driven eight or nine hours home from an unsuccessful move to Baltimore and I was two blocks from my home when it happened. I know that's not too scandalous, but like I said I'm pretty tame.
If you could kill one person, consequence free, who would it be and why?
I think there are a great many people who don't appreciate or deserve their lives, but I couldn't kill anyone unless my life (or that of a loved one) was on the line. There would be mental consequences even if there weren't physical or social consequences.
What do you do?
Make low-budget, independent movies.
How did you get started doing what you do?
A customer of mine, Jay Byrne, asked if anyone from my store wanted to act in his first full-length feature. I said yes and had a blast, and kept showing up to help out behind the scenes. By the next film, I was a partner in the company and cowriting/codirecting.
What is your advice to other people that want to get started doing what you do?
No excuses, no giving up. You'll suck at first. You'll get better.
What are some of the projects you’ve worked on/finished in the past?
Give us a little history if you will.
Hometown and You Better Watch Out! Both films are anthologies. Hometown involves the kidnapping of a young man who tells tales about crazy events in town to try to extend his life. You Better Watch Out! is a holiday-themed film where three high school friends who are writers meet every Thanksgiving to tell stories. The theme for this particular year is holiday horror, so there are tales for Halloween, Christmas and New Year's.
Where can people go to check out your films?
You Better Watch Out! is
playing at Rock and Shock (www.rockandshock.com)
on Sunday, October 20 at noon. Other
than that check out the Roadkill Entertainment website: http://jaybyrne75.wix.com/roadkillentertainment#!
If you’re near the North Dartmouth area, come see me at Newbury Comics and I’ll be happy to give you a rundown of our work.
What projects are you working on now?
Jay and I just started writing the final part of our anthology trilogy, which will be called Incidents.
What are you watching?
Walking Dead. I watch wrestling too, even though there's always been a social stigma about admitting to that past a certain age. It's like admitting you masturbate. I like it for the exact reason many hate it: because it's fake. Why would I want to watch two guys legitimately hurt each other?
I respect people that like watching wrestling because it’s a demonstration of over-the-top explosive kinetic athleticism. But it’s the people that actually believe in wrestling that kind of scare me. I was always kind of partial to G.L.O.W.
I watched G.L.O.W. all the time! There’s a cool documentary out about it. The people that believe in wrestling are the reason it’s not socially accepted. I guess those are the people that kept it going in the 60s-80s, but I always enjoy knowing how it’s done. And the wrestlers are much more athletic than they’re given credit for due to it being “fake.”
Oh I totally get that and even though I don’t watch wrestling, and haven’t really ever been into it except ironically, I really appreciate the athleticism that those performers put into their performances. Those guys destroy themselves to entertain other people and I really respect that. Sadly The Wrestler, that film that Mickey Rourke was in a couple years ago, was more a documentary than a work of fiction. That being said, who’s your favorite wrestler of all time?
If you’re near the North Dartmouth area, come see me at Newbury Comics and I’ll be happy to give you a rundown of our work.
What projects are you working on now?
Jay and I just started writing the final part of our anthology trilogy, which will be called Incidents.
What are you watching?
Walking Dead. I watch wrestling too, even though there's always been a social stigma about admitting to that past a certain age. It's like admitting you masturbate. I like it for the exact reason many hate it: because it's fake. Why would I want to watch two guys legitimately hurt each other?
I respect people that like watching wrestling because it’s a demonstration of over-the-top explosive kinetic athleticism. But it’s the people that actually believe in wrestling that kind of scare me. I was always kind of partial to G.L.O.W.
I watched G.L.O.W. all the time! There’s a cool documentary out about it. The people that believe in wrestling are the reason it’s not socially accepted. I guess those are the people that kept it going in the 60s-80s, but I always enjoy knowing how it’s done. And the wrestlers are much more athletic than they’re given credit for due to it being “fake.”
Oh I totally get that and even though I don’t watch wrestling, and haven’t really ever been into it except ironically, I really appreciate the athleticism that those performers put into their performances. Those guys destroy themselves to entertain other people and I really respect that. Sadly The Wrestler, that film that Mickey Rourke was in a couple years ago, was more a documentary than a work of fiction. That being said, who’s your favorite wrestler of all time?
The
Road Warriors are my favorites. Since
they were a team I still count that as one entity. I first saw them when I was eleven and knew
they were the best right then. They wore
face paint in creepy designs and spiked vests (later spiked football
pads). They were monsters. They came to the ring with “Iron Man” playing
(the first time I heard Black Sabbath was because of them). They ran in the ring, beat their opponents up
in under a minute, and then left. For a
kid who liked comics, horror movies and wrestling it was all that in one. They were inspiring and an outlet for
frustration in later years when school was horrible. I could watch them “beat people up” and live
vicariously through them momentarily.
They were legitimately tough and I needed to look up to that toughness,
paired with their unique look, as I tried to survive high school. It may be “fake”, but they sure helped me
deal with my angst and stress.
Good choice. I bet you liked the movie The Karate Kid too.
Good choice. I bet you liked the movie The Karate Kid too.
Sure
did! I saw it twice in the theater.
What are you listening to?
Anything Rollins-related or Mike Patton-related. Screaming Females. Dinosaur Jr. Deftones. Misfits (Danzig and Graves). Devo. 80s thrash. 90s hardcore. There's so much great stuff.
What are you reading?
Just finished Old Flames by Jack Ketchum and am now digging into Gunnar Hansen's book about the making of Texas Chain Saw Massacre. After that I want to get into Stephen King's Joyland and Doctor Sleep and then throw a Clive Barker in there. I have so many unread books but I also believe one should never run out of options.
I’m kind of in the opposite position. I’ve read everything I wanted to read from all of the authors whose work I’ve read and enjoyed and anything anyone recommends has been pretty disappointing so most of the reading I do is new releases for review.
Are you a fast reader? I’m notoriously slow, and it kills my books-per-year average. And of course, I keep buying new ones.
I’m a really fast reader. Not, like, a speed reader. I don’t skim pages in seconds or anything like that. Just from decades of practice I’m good at churning through pages so I can easily finish a book or two a day depending on the length and how interesting it is.
Favorite author/book?
King, Barker and Ketchum are my favorite writers, but my all time favorite book is King's The Stand. It arrived in my life at a time I needed salvation the most.
Care to elaborate on that?
Sure. It began in the summer before freshman year of high school. I was at the Rehoboth Fair and enjoying myself as I did there every year, walking around and checking out the vendors and whatnot. It was there that I spied a t-shirt I’d been looking for for a long time: the “No Frills” shirt from Anthrax. It had cartoon artwork from drummer Charlie Benante on the front and the back said “Anthrax No Frills T-Shirt.” I loved the humor of it as well as the art. I bought the shirt and knew it was going to be my first day of school shirt. Well, I was dealing with my fear of new places well enough through that first day and then I got to the second to last period of the day, algebra. I started to hear taunts from the side and behind me. It was a pair of friends that didn’t like my shirt (which is funny because years later I found out they liked metal, but they were dressed very nicely so I guess that’s why). The taunts happened every day from then on, and before too long it spread and I was being harassed by people in front of me and even in other aisles depending on the proximity of the teacher. I wore that shirt once more after that and never again, but the damage was done. Daily verbal abuse was my school lunch. And after that it spread to other classes with friends of those kids. I was miserable every single day and I had no friends because even the ones I had from middle school abandoned me. High school really was a savage time, and it was kill or be killed socially, so I guess my old friends saw me as weak and wanted to avoid being seen with me to avoid ridicule. So I spent lunch alone, not eating or even sitting down. I stood with my back to a pole for protection, watching as I was eyeballed by the thugs. On Christmas Day my father had a heart attack. I began failing classes (I was in the honors program too, though that didn’t last past the one year). I had stress and fear everywhere I turned. And then, thankfully, summer arrived, but the anxiety didn’t go away. After all, I had to go back there after vacation. Sometime in July I was listening to Anthrax’s Among the Living (it all goes back to Anthrax) and saw in the liner notes that the title song was based on Stephen King’s book The Stand. I knew that my mother had a paperback copy of the original, edited version of the book on the bookshelf, so I picked it up and started reading. I’d always loved books but usually just read from the school library. Despite a childhood spent watching horror movies I’d never read a horror novel. But now, thanks to Anthrax, I was. And I was hooked right from the start. I remember being amazed that writers were allowed to swear! That book became my new, and only, friend. I escaped the world there. I was reading about the lives of others, where I had no stress of my own. It was glorious! And then, when I was about 75% done with the book, King put out the unedited version of the book. It was great timing, and my mother got me the book. I put down the edited paperback and started the story all over again. I tore through it, on more than one occasion staying up all night reading. I was so sad when it was over, but when it was, since I have to finish what I started, I picked up the edited paperback and finished from where I’d left off. After that I tore through my mother’s collection of King and Straub, and soon enough it was about time to go back to school. I was scared out of my mind, and there was still a lot of bullying but it was slightly better, and I kept collecting King books and they were always my salvation. And then the next piece of the puzzle fell in when my English class was given a writing assignment. We were to pick a poem from our literature book and expand it into a story. I chose Poe’s “El Dorado.” The teacher wanted a three page story and I delivered nine. And I didn’t stop there. I kept reading and writing and that year I was published in the school literary magazine (how that came about is a very funny story). I even gained one friend, who was also an outcast. The bullying slowed a bit thanks to two of them moving away (one of them being a foreign exchange student—yes I was harassed by a foreign exchange student), but it never fully stopped. Still, I was improving myself. Without Anthrax and King, particularly The Stand, I have no idea how I would’ve gotten through that time in my life.
I really don’t know what it is about Anthrax, but it’s one of the metal bands, like Metallica and Slayer that I have always truly enjoyed and never enjoyed ironically.
That’s why I hate hipsters that pretend to be really into 80s thrash metal for ironic purposes. When I see some jerk-off with an ironic mustache in a jean jacket vest with a backpatch for any of my favorite 80s thrash metal bands I just want to punch their face off of their face while screaming “DO YOU KNOW THAT I WOULD HAVE CURB-STOMPED A KENNEL FULL OF KITTENS FOR THAT BACKPATCH IN HIGH SCHOOL YOU FUCKING POSER!” and then tear the patch off of their vest.
The first computer I ever had, the first thing I think I did was make a list of my comic books collection.
Then I transcribed the lyrics for Among The Living from the liner notes of my cassette tape.
I discovered the work of Stephen King through a slightly different route. As I said in my bio, I like the work of Edgar Allen Poe and the Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark books, and the horror anthologies of Helen Hoke, but those were all in the Young Adult section and they weren’t scaring me anymore. This was around fourth or fifth grade by the way. I remember I used the card catalog to look up keywords like “ghosts” and “haunted” and “horror” and I took out two books from the Adult section. A dry and boring non-fiction book about the Mary Celeste that I was never able to finish and a book by Stephen King. I wish I could remember which one my first one was, but sadly I don’t. King’s books didn’t scare me. I haven’t read a book that has scared me, ever, sad to say. But the way he was able to create a seamlessly enveloping world of characters and scenarios was like magic to me and better than watching a horror movie which might actually scare me might have been. I was much more interested in King’s exploration of the interiority of the minds of his characters than I was with horror movies about unstoppable killing machines like Jason Vorhees and Michael Myers and Freddie Krueger. You have to keep in mind that I was too young to be allowed to see those kinds of films theatrically, and back then, before VCRs and VHS tapes were affordable, if you didn’t see those films during their initial theatrical run in your home town theater, you didn’t see them, period. We didn’t have a VCR in my house until I was in, like, seventh grade, and I didn’t own a VCR of my own or my own TV until my first year at college. So, fuck all of you spoiled VHS babies. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE BACK IN THE DAY! *laughs*
I read everything that my library had on hand for King which was about half of his bibliography up till The Gunslinger. Since King’s work was so engaging for me and I was reading Adult books in fifth grade my reading comprehension and writing composition skills were through the roof. I was seriously in around the 98th percentile nationally according to the standardized testing they subjected us to every two years or so. I would spend long nights with my allowance spent on racist Cherry Clan candy reading Stephen King books. Rereading them when I had finished all of the ones my library had. Then in sixth grade my friend Son Nguyen mentioned this British guy named Clive Barker who had written the book that the movie Hellraiser was based on and I never looked back.
Comic books and heavy metal and horror movies and horror books were also my refuge from a world that was too fucked up to deal with. Most of my fellow students were borderline at best and most of them had no business wasting the time of the educational system with their involuntary mandatory participation. I grew up in a poor town that is now practically uninhabitable. Woonsocket is like Rhode Island’s Detroit. It was so bad that every year, every teacher would get a “pink slip” which meant that they didn’t know if they were going to be hired back for the next year. So how could anyone expect them to give a shit about a job that didn’t give a shit about them and paid a marginal salary at best? Pretty much I got fucked out of a decent education because the school environment was like a rape-revenge exploitation film from the 80s.
I managed to survive high school and get the fuck out of that shitty city and I want less than nothing to do with 99.9% of the people I went to high school with despite the fact that they keep finding me on Facebook and sending me Friend Requests. It’s been eighteen fucking years. Haven’t you made any new friends or are you really that unlikeable that you have to flip through your old yearbooks and try to find friends that way? And don’t you remember high school at all? You used to fuck with me just about every chance you had until I came back from ARMY Basic Training and could break your bones just by looking at you hard, and I hated you with an intensity that words cannot describe. And now you want to be my imaginary friend? Take all of the fucks in the world and compress them into a fuck diamond and shove it up your fucking ass you fucking asshole.
What was I talking about?
Oh, right, books.
Despite all of that I still love the books from Stephen King and Clive Barker and the other authors that I list as influential on my literary tastes in my bio and I think I always will.
Same thing with the Universal Monster movies. They were never scary to me. I always liked the monsters and I finally realized after getting into film criticism, that the thing that makes them exceptional makes them outcasts and that every one of the big five Universal Monster films are actually love stories in disguise. So as a smart kid in a dumb school that always pining after some girl or another those films really spoke to me.
That’s why I have Dracula ad Frankenstein tattooed on my shoulders and I imagine that’s why you have the cover of The Stand tattooed on your (is it your right?) forearm.
They’re magic sigils for us and icons that will always remind us of the things that helped us when we needed them most.
Yes! Absolutely, sir. And you are correct, my Stand tattoo is on my
right forearm. I love your analogy of
the Universal Monsters. I have to say my
first exposure to them was from Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein. I still love that film, but I’m glad that I
was able to go back and watch the real films later in life.
I remember getting into
Clive Barker as well. I had seen his
books and knew he had a good buzz about him, but at the time (sophomore year of
high school through senior year) I spent every dime I made on King books, not
wanting to “cheat” on him. I’d read some Peter Straub that my mother had but I
figured that was okay since they wrote Talisman together. Then in senior year I saw Hellraiser and
Hellraiser II with some friends and was absolutely blown away. I sought out Hellbound Heart and then the
Books of Blood and on and on, and I’ve been in awe of Barker’s imagination ever
since. I think King writes the best
characters but Barker is the most imaginative.
I remember being totally, madly in love with a girl and I got along with
her better than anyone in my life up until that point. She came home from college and we went to a
book store. She asked what I had been
reading. I showed her Hellbound
Heart. She asked why I wasted my time on
that “trash.” That was the last time we
went out. As deep as my feelings were
for her, I realized we were much different people and she’d never truly support
my passion for horror.
I had something similar happen. I was dating a girl that I met at my book signing on Long Island. She was in the first row and after the signing she gave me her business card… for pet walking. I remember thinking, “Why did she give me her card? I don’t have any pets. Oh…” I can be pretty daft sometimes. Sometimes girls have to practically start making out with me before I realize that they’re flirting with me. Long Island has some pretty temperate weather. The winters and summers are both pretty mild, but the girl and I were hanging out during one of Long Island’s rare heat waves. We went to an air-conditioned restaurant and then back to my place. I was living in a modified garden shed without air-conditioning and I knew she wanted to hang out naked but I couldn’t imagine having sex in the sauna that was my home. I told her that maybe she should go home and she vented her disappointment by laying into me. She said, “Why are you so mean to me? I put up with all of your horror movie bullshit!”. I said, “Woah! Time out on the dance floor! If that’s the way you feel then maybe you should go home and stay there. I didn’t wake up with Dracula and Frankenstein tattoos one morning.” SO that was that. She’s one of many ex-girlfriends I don’t associate with anymore and I had to block her on Facebook because she’s come around every six months or so trying to spar things up again but relationships are like food. Once they go bad, they only get worse.
Favorite band/song?
Rollins Band/Alien Blueprint.
Least favorite band/song?
Pick something by Kanye West. Anything will do.
Desert Island Music/Movies/Books: You know the deal. Five of each.
Music: Rollins Band, Faith No More, Dinosaur Jr., Deftones, Misfits (do you want me to pick specific albums?).
Movies: A Clockwork Orange, Taxi Driver, The Devil's Rejects, Empire Strikes Back, The Outsiders.
Books: The Stand (King), The Books of Blood collection (is that cheating?) (Barker), Off Season (Ketchum), Ghost Story (Peter Straub), Get In The Van (Henry Rollins).
You don’t have to pick specific albums for music if you don’t want to.
This is supposed to be fun, not strict. I’ll let it slide.
No worries, I can do it! Rollins: Weight. FNM: Angel Dust. Dino Jr.: Beyond. Deftones: White Pony. Misfits: Collection II (Danzig), Famous Monsters (Graves). Some of these picks I don’t even think are the best albums musically from the artist, but they’re sentimental favorites due to particular songs or what was happening in my life at the time.
Someone once said, “I don’t know what’s good, but I know what I like.” And that’s good enough for me.
I had something similar happen. I was dating a girl that I met at my book signing on Long Island. She was in the first row and after the signing she gave me her business card… for pet walking. I remember thinking, “Why did she give me her card? I don’t have any pets. Oh…” I can be pretty daft sometimes. Sometimes girls have to practically start making out with me before I realize that they’re flirting with me. Long Island has some pretty temperate weather. The winters and summers are both pretty mild, but the girl and I were hanging out during one of Long Island’s rare heat waves. We went to an air-conditioned restaurant and then back to my place. I was living in a modified garden shed without air-conditioning and I knew she wanted to hang out naked but I couldn’t imagine having sex in the sauna that was my home. I told her that maybe she should go home and she vented her disappointment by laying into me. She said, “Why are you so mean to me? I put up with all of your horror movie bullshit!”. I said, “Woah! Time out on the dance floor! If that’s the way you feel then maybe you should go home and stay there. I didn’t wake up with Dracula and Frankenstein tattoos one morning.” SO that was that. She’s one of many ex-girlfriends I don’t associate with anymore and I had to block her on Facebook because she’s come around every six months or so trying to spar things up again but relationships are like food. Once they go bad, they only get worse.
Favorite band/song?
Rollins Band/Alien Blueprint.
Least favorite band/song?
Pick something by Kanye West. Anything will do.
Desert Island Music/Movies/Books: You know the deal. Five of each.
Music: Rollins Band, Faith No More, Dinosaur Jr., Deftones, Misfits (do you want me to pick specific albums?).
Movies: A Clockwork Orange, Taxi Driver, The Devil's Rejects, Empire Strikes Back, The Outsiders.
Books: The Stand (King), The Books of Blood collection (is that cheating?) (Barker), Off Season (Ketchum), Ghost Story (Peter Straub), Get In The Van (Henry Rollins).
You don’t have to pick specific albums for music if you don’t want to.
This is supposed to be fun, not strict. I’ll let it slide.
No worries, I can do it! Rollins: Weight. FNM: Angel Dust. Dino Jr.: Beyond. Deftones: White Pony. Misfits: Collection II (Danzig), Famous Monsters (Graves). Some of these picks I don’t even think are the best albums musically from the artist, but they’re sentimental favorites due to particular songs or what was happening in my life at the time.
Someone once said, “I don’t know what’s good, but I know what I like.” And that’s good enough for me.
If you could do anything other than what you do now, what would you do?
Write full time and make a living at it.
Who would you want to meet that you haven’t met? You get three choices: Alive. Dead. Fictional.
Alive: George Lucas.
Dead: Any of my grandparents.
Fictional: Sarah (Lori Cardille's character from Day of the Dead).
What’s the best and worst job you’ve ever had?
The best would be my paper route from ages 8-10. Granted, that's an answer steeped in hindsight because I often wanted to do anything but deliver papers, but it's the truth. I found a dead guy once. None of my other jobs can beat that (again, that's a hindsight answer because the eight year old me was scared). The worst job was working for a discount hardware store chain in the early-mid 2000s. I worked my way up to manager and the pay was very good, but the conditions and stress were unnecessary and dangerous.
By any chance was the discount hardware store chain branch you worked at in Somerset?
It was in Swansea but it was right on the line so I might be splitting hairs. It was Grossman’s Bargain Outlet, which changed into Surplus Warehouse. Is that the one you were thinking of?
Oh, no. I was thinking of the Home Depot in Somerset.
Are there any questions that I didn’t ask that you wished I had asked that you would like to answer now?
Not that I can think of.
Anyone you recommend I interview that you can put me in touch with?
If you want the other side of the Roadkill Entertainment coin you could interview Jay Byrne: https://www.facebook.com/jay.byrne.54
I think I’ll do just that.
Got any questions for me?
Do you think it would seem pretentious to interview yourself? I'd like to read your answers to these questions.
*sighs* I knew this was going happen sooner or later.
I didn’t want to make this blog about me, although it absolutely is and absolutely isn’t if you get what I mean.
I kind of wanted to function as a transparent medium for people to try to promote themselves and their projects.
But in all fairness, and in the interest of complete honesty I’ll answer my own questions.
It will give me a chance to refine the introductory survey and the next time some smart-ass asks me to answer my own questions I can just send them here. *laughs*
I’ll answer my questions as a follow-up interview after the last of your interview.
But hopefully it doesn’t break the internet.
So, make sure you get a refill on your beverage of choice, grab a snack, and sit in a comfortable position.
We’re going to be here a while.
Closing questions / summary / and thanks:
No questions--I feel I'm in good hands with you. I'd definitely like to thank you for giving me the chance to participate in this interview. I hope my answers weren't boring!
You’re in decent hands. My intention is to help, not harm.
I don’t want to get into a recursive circle-thank but thanks for allowing me to interview you.
Your answers definitely weren’t boring.
At least nowhere near the most boring answers I’ve received yet.
You kind of got what I was trying to do with this.
The interview is a blank slate for the interviewee to fill with content, so if they just fill it out like a fucking application I don’t have much to work with in the follow-up round but you did just fine.
Circle-thank is a hilarious phrase.
I coined it because it happens a lot. “Thank you.” “No, thank you.” “No, thank YOU.” “NO, thank YOU!” etc. etc. I use the term as an interrupt before we get carried away thanking each other.
Pitch parade:
Give me all of your links for things you want to promote. All of them.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/roadkillentertainment
https://www.facebook.com/horrorofitall
https://www.facebook.com/michael.welch.35
Website: http://jaybyrne75.wix.com/roadkillentertainment#!
About the Interviewee:
Michael Welch is a man who wants to tell you stories. He wrote his first pieces in fourth grade and turned up the volume in high school, and has done a variety of projects since. He currently writes fiction, screenplays and his favorite, nonfiction. He even writes and (badly) draws a humor comic. Currently Michael is a partner in Roadkill Entertainment, making independent horror films, and cohosts the online review show The Horror Of It All.
About the Interviewer:
Scott Lefebvre has probably read everything you've read and can write about whatever you want him to write about.
Mostly because when he was grounded for his outlandish behavior as a hyperactive school child, the only place he was allowed to go was the public library.
His literary tastes were forged by the works of Helen Hoke, Alvin Schwartz and Stephen Gammell, Ray Bradbury, Richard Matheson, Stephen King, Clive Barker, Edgar Allan Poe, and H. P. Lovecraft.
He is the author of Spooky Creepy Long Island and a contributing author to Forrest J. Ackerman’s Anthology of the Living Dead, Fracas: A Collection of Short Friction, The Call of Lovecraft, and Cashiers du Cinemart.
His reviews have been published by a variety of in print and online media including Scars Magazine, Icons of Fright, Fatally Yours and Screams of Terror, and he has appeared in Fangoria, Rue Morgue and HorrorHound Magazine.
He is the Assistant Program Director for The Arkham Film Society and produces Electronic Music under the names Master Control and LOVECRAFTWORK.
He is currently working on a novel-length expansion of a short-story titled, "The End Of The World Is Nigh", a crowd-funded, crowd-sourced, post-apocalyptic, zombie epidemic project.
You can check out the blog for the book here: theendoftheworldisnighbook.blogspot.com
You can check out the Facebook Fan Page for the project here: www.facebook.com/TheEndOfTheWorldIsNighBook
You can check his author profile at: www.amazon.com/Scott-Lefebvre/e/B001TQ2W9G
You can follow him at GoodReads here: www.goodreads.com/author/show/1617246.Scott_Lefebvre
You can check out his electronic music here: soundcloud.com/master_control
And here: master-control.bandcamp.com
You can check out his videos at: www.youtube.com/user/doctornapoleon
You can check out his IMDB profile here: www.imdb.com/name/nm3678959
You can follow his Twitter here: twitter.com/TheLefebvre or @TheLefebvre
You can follow his Tumblr here: thelefebvre.tumblr.com
You can check out his Etsy here: www.etsy.com/people/arkhamscreenings
You can join the group for The Arkham Film Society here: www.facebook.com/groups/arkhamscreenings
You can stalk his Facebook at: www.facebook.com/TheLefebvre
You can e-mail him at: Scott_Lefebvre@hotmail.com
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