Interview with Chris “Ralski” Amesquita.

Full Name:
Chris “Ralski” Amesquita

Do you have a nickname or what do your friends call you?
“Ralski”. Some still call me “Mosquito”, but that’s gotten way old.

Birthplace:
Los Angeles, CA

Current hometown:
Simi Valley, CA

Favorite city and why?
Santa Monica, CA. I love my coastline and beaches. I’ve never been much on city life, and I’m not fond of big crowds. That’s probably why visiting New York is not on my bucket list.

Birthday/Age:
Dec 18. 44

How would you describe yourself physically?
Fit, but not very healthy. 6’2”, 180lbs. I lost about 45 lbs a few years ago after being deathly ill. But I got to my target weight, so I’m not complaining. I should start to workout more so I can look like Fabio.

How would someone else describe you physically?
Fuckable.
I’ve been meaning to add “Fuckable” to my spell-check dictionary. Thanks for that.
My pleasure! Can never have enough fuckable.

The first thing people notice about you is…
My five head and lack of a butt.
If you want, you can have some of my butt. I’ve been told I have more butt than I need.
Ha! I used to be called bubble butt and hook butt most of my life. Was doomed with the “husky” pants because I have a rump. But alas, it has disappeared into the abyss. Maybe some more pumpkin pie this season will help.

Hair Color/Eye Color/Race?
Brown/Brown/Native American Beaner.

Sexual orientation?
Straight.

Religion, if any?
None.

Are you superstitious at all? Any phobias?
I fear zombies. Not the brain eating, rise from the dead kind. More like the emotionless, earth roamers in the streets of Los Angeles at night with tattered clothing, dirty faces and random bags fixed to their feet with rubber bands.

Do you smoke/drink?   If so, what?   Any bad habits?
Been smoking grits for over 25 years. I’ve been around the block and dabbled in a lot of stuff, but now only drink on occasion and just recently decided to dry out for a while from greens. Oh, and I’m a pill popper. Doctor’s orders.

Current occupation/Dream job:
Unemployed. Been working in accounting by day, and moonlighting as an artist/entrepreneur on my spare time. Would love to find a rich person to invest in me so I can get paid for being creative instead of being paid for being a robot.
Wouldn’t we all, my friend. I work as a security officer guarding a shipyard full of multi-million dollar yachts. I often think if I could only talk one of those rich pricks into being my sponsor and dropping $5K on me I could take some time off of work and get some real work done. $5K is what those assholes spend on champagne and lobsters in a month. It would mean practically nothing to them, like when I give a homeless person a dollar. But it would mean the world to me. I could live off $5K for six months, easily and write a few books, paint a dozen paintings, and make five or ten albums of electronic music if I had the time to myself. I tried to make ends meet just doing my art and writing and I made a go of it for three months before I fell behind on rent and had to get a wage-slave job to keep a roof over my head. The tragedy of life is that rich people usually don’t have any artistic talent and people that are artistically talented usually never have any money and I’ve never been able to figure out how to put the two together like they used to do during the Renaissance era.
Damn, you can do that with $5K in six months? I wanna live where you live! That would last me about 2 months here in good old California. Maybe I need to move, AND find a rich investor.
I just live close to the bone. I only make less than $1,200 per month as is. I’ve survived on less. All I need is rent and cigarettes and food and not even much food. I can live on nothing but Ramen noodles for months. You don’t know the struggle unless you have a favorite flavor of Ramen noodle. Mine is lime shrimp!
Oh yeah, I know the drill all too well! I used to make potato chip burritos with ketchup when I was a bachelor. That, Ramen, hell I even used to hang out at Denny’s and steal the leftovers when people would leave before the waitress picked up their food.  Gotta do what ya gotta do!

What do you like to do when you’re not at work?
Make art, write, make videos and music, watch a select few television shows, etc. I’m not much of a club goer or bar hopper. I leave that to the youngin’s.

What is your zombie outbreak survival plan?
I’ve learned a lot from the Walking Dead. I’d start with keeping a bag of zombie bits on me in case I need to use them as camouflage in a situation. Then I find the highest mountain top in my area, and loot as many supplies as I can on the way. Then, wait it out until they all die off from starvation.

Weapon of choice:
Machete or Crossbow. Guns are too loud.

Do you have any special skills?
I’m a left handed drummer. Does that count? If not, then I would say that I can still function after 2 valium, a fifth of vodka, and 4 hours of sleep. And blow bubbles with my tongue. But for some reason, that annoys people. I guess my DNA isn’t good enough for them.

Did you go to college and, if so, what for?
I got a degree in computer drafting, but only used it for 2 years at a boring job.
I first read that as “computer dating” and I was going to ask you to show me your ways because all I’ve ever found is a bunch of over-valued prima-donnas that are trying to date WAY above their class. If I think you’re cute, and we’re into the same things, why don’t we go on a date and see if anything develops? I hate to break it to you, ladies, but Brad Pitt isn’t going to stumble across your profile and decide to leave Angelina Jolie because you like cats and long walks on the beach. You’re going to have to lower your standards a bit. That’s why you’re on an online dating site. Because none of your friends or acquaintances or co-workers or friends or acquaintances or co-workers of your friends or acquaintances or co-workers are interested in dating you. Go on a few bad dates and do something dangerous. Live a little!
Funny but true, that’s how I met my wife. We were both anti-social and not into the dating scene. So the internet was the next best alternative. Happens that we lived less than 5 minutes from each other. I went on a few dates with other chicks, and agreed; about 85% of them were freaks. And not in the good way! The wife is a freak, but that’s a given because she’s with me now.
Oh great! Way to give me false hope!
Ha! Well mind you I had already been through the mill and learned what I wanted and what I didn’t want in a woman. I also became very skittish with the idea of being in a relationship at all. I gave up a few times and vowed to stay single. Not because I didn’t think I could find someone to be with, but because I didn’t think I could find someone to love me back. That’s the whole point, isn’t it? I could love a pet rock and it won’t be much company when you really need it. My advice is stop looking and prepare your ass for a big bite!

If you went to college, did you manage to pay off your student loans?
Yes.

Any pets?   If so, what are they and what are their names?
Oh good lord. I was never animal person, but since I’ve been married, I’ve had 2 horses, 2 dogs, and 9 cats. Right now we have 1 horse, 1 dog, and 4 cats. AJ, Ember, Mango, Q-Tip, Foxy and Cassidy.

What is your favorite animal?
Wolf, hands down.
Good choice.
It is my spirit animal and I have a huge tat on my back depicting my yin-yang with a wolf/demon head. Ah, tattoos…

Speaking of pets, any pet peeves?
I don’t mind the use of the word “Fuck”, except when it’s used directly in the term “Fuck you.” They can tell me to fuck off, call me a fucker, whatever. But “fuck you” makes the hairs stand up on my neck and triggers a very negative mood swing.
I’ve always been more partial to “Go fuck yourself.”
That’s perfectly fine too. Hell, if I could physically, I would never leave my house!
I do all the time and I don’t really leave the house much. Were you born without thumbs?
Dude, my asshole has been probed by so many fingers, you would figure I could probably fit a fire extinguisher in there by now. But alas, my cornhole is an output orifice only unless medically necessary for inspection or enemas.

Favorite/Least favorite Food:
I love pork carnitas, but it hates me. And I’m not a big fan of pizza. Not sure why though.

What is your favorite quotation/motto/saying?
Something I wrote years back, “The Struggle is the Glory.”
Ooh! That’s a GOOD one!
Thanks! I actually have that slogan printed on a t-shirt that is available online through a clothing company called Wicked Jester.
***Alright, fine, sold! Where’s the link?
If you click on the “Follow your path” link at http://www.wickedjester.com, you should see it. There’s a lot of great quotes on the other shirts as well.

What is the best thing that ever happened to you?
I suppose surviving several near death experiences. Not sure if that’s a good thing, but the only other thing I can think of is finding someone of substance that can put up with my crazy ways. At least so far. =P Been married for almost 3 years, and together for about 7.
What’s the secret of maintaining a successful marriage? I want to know in case I ever find myself married. I think it’s inevitable that someday some lucky lady’s going to figure out how to put a leash on this tiger.
Hell if I know. We have our ups and downs, and have already had to go through a lot of personal drama with deaths in the family, my physical health crap, etc. It’s been rough, but it always seems to come back to, “Man, this person has stuck by me through all that. Anyone else would have bailed ages ago, so they must be a keeper.” I think that’s what love is, but I’m still in the learning process.
***According to Denis Leary it’s, “Love, honor, respect and stay the fuck away from each other.” I think I’m going to try that one.
That seems to make sense. I notice chicks always want what they can’t have, and then flip it last minute and change their minds whenever they want. So in theory, they want someone insane enough to be a blob of silly putty and pliable for whatever they want, whenever they want. Sounds like a negative, but sometimes is a positive. Like for instance, a lot of girls want a “bad boy”. And when they meet one, they love it. They like the excitement, the rough edges, all the “Sons of Anarchy” bullshit. But when shit hits the fan and the “bad boy” shows his true colors of being “bad”, it gets old and the chick want’s to domesticate them. And when they do, they are suddenly “boring” guy, and they want another “bad boy.” Another example is sex. The wild and hot, intimate and spontaneous lust is what they crave when they are on the hunt, but when they have a dude on lockdown, they want sensitive, novella crap when they are “in the mood.” But we have to figure out when that is, what to do, how to do it, and expect to be turned down 50% of the time. It’s tricky to say the least! Hence, why I’m still a novice.

What is the worst thing that ever happened to you?
Going back to the previous question, being hospitalized for stomach surgery sucked. The most recent ones were the most dramatic. I’ll spare the gory details unless you want to know.
Oh! I do want to know! That’s the whole point of the interview! Interesting answers!
Well, I had stomach surgery back when I was 22. The x-rays showed my appendix may have ruptured, so they opened me up. Come to find I had a liter of fluid floating around in my abdomen. They tested it, and it came out negative. I lived with a lot of pain with  no answers for 10 years. Was in and out of the doctors, then bam… another episode. This time, I did need to have an appendectomy. But I still had stomach pains. 10 years later (3 years ago) I was eating dinner with the wife in our new house. PUKE. I have pictures on my Facebook page depicting the scenes of the crime, including the 5 plastic bags full of vomit. Went in to surgery for a bowel obstruction (due to adhesions from my prior surgeries), and went into renal failure. I even had to shove a catheter in my own dick because the nurse was “too busy”. I was in and out of the hospital 5 times with 5 surgeries in a 3 month span and had my gall bladder removed. I was spent. Then guess what? The next year, same thing. This time, my gut herniated. So they had to open me up, wring out by guts, and throw them back in. And this time, I had to shove the tube in my nose and down my throat by myself because the nurse couldn’t do it right. Needless to say, it was a horrible experience, but the drugs were great. I had a button for Dilaudid that I could push every 5 minutes. Now, I hate food. I have total PTSD every time I have even a minor stomach ache, and sometimes it manifests into having to run to the toilet or dropping into a fetal position in my room and wait it out after popping a handful of pills. Fun stuff. That is where the angst in my art comes from. Anxiety.
Okay, all of that was awful. I definitely got what I asked for and thank you for that. I only got shot with Dilaudid once. I had two herniated discs and didn’t have any kind of reliable healthcare so I was in and out of the emergency room. One time my back seized and there was no position I could twist myself into that didn’t feel like someone was twisting a spear in my hips, so off to the emergency room I go. In the ER they made me wait an hour as they’re prone to doing. Then when the charge nurse finally interviewed me she shot me in the ass with Percocet and Valium. It did nothing. Didn’t even touch it. Fifteen minutes later another shot of Percocet and Valium. Still nothing. All the meanwhile I’m holding myself in a walker-like contraption and my arms are shaking because I had been doing a push-up for six hours, but anything to keep the wait off of my lower body. Finally the nurse shot me in the ass with Dilaudid and handed me my discharge papers. “How do you know it’s going to work?” I asked her in a trembling white panic. She gave me a wry look and said, “Oh, don’t worry. It’ll work.”. Two minutes later I’m sitting relatively comfortable in an emergency room bench and then I even nodded off a couple times while waiting for my friend’s girlfriend to come pick me up. She got herself under one of my arms, more to guide me than anything else and in the parking lot I hallucinated I heard someone call my name. She managed to get me home and I totally couldn’t even smoke a cigarette before I nodded right the fuck off. The D wore off and my back problem came back with a vengeance, but that’s a story for another time.
Really? Man, it makes me miss it that much more! I remember the rush and understood why people get addicted to Heroin. It’s a very similar rush from what I understand, so it’s no wonder why I was on that button every chance I had.

Ever had your heart broken? Is there a story worth telling behind your answer? Several times. But the stories are too emo.
But those are the best stories!
Well, I fell into a trap of going out with younger girls. They flocked to me like glue, and I had a hard time saying no. I got engaged to one after being with her for 4 years, only to find out I was being used by her family to whip her back into shape and pursue her dreams…without me.

Ever broken someone’s heart? Is there a story worth telling behind your answer?
I told my biological father to “Fuck off” when I was around 30 and we didn’t talk for almost 5 years. He carried that to his deathbed last year and expressed remorse. He went in for a cough, to find out he had terminal cancer. He had brain surgery and they gave him 3 months to live. He lasted 2 years, and the whole time, he kept apologizing. I told him I was over it, but I don’t think he believed me. He knew he was going to die, and wanted to make a mends. We never really did because he was too sick to do anything. It sucked.

What is the best thing you’ve ever done?
I am always pushing myself for bigger and better things, so I can’t say that I’ve reached that accomplishment just yet.

What is the worst thing you’ve ever done?
Thwarted my manhood unexpectedly on a door jamb in front of my friends. A couple times.

If you could kill one person, consequence free, who would it be and why?
Honey Boo Boo’s mother. So she can stop reproducing.
Excellent answer.
I think so too. Next would be Honey Boo Boo so she doesn’t reproduce.
Stop the disease at the source. Sounds like a plan I can get behind.
Maybe when the zombie holocaust comes, she will be of age so I won’t feel bad executing a minor. Even if she wasn’t a zombie yet.

What do you do?
Share my experiences and knowledge with people through speaking in riddles and hidden innuendo.

How did you get started doing what you do?
I was a latch key kid, only child, so I blame the little boy who lives in my mouth.
I was too! And I definitely get the reference.
Most people think only children are always spoiled. I tell them they can fuck off.
Yeah! They can fuck right off!
Especially the middle children who whine like Jan Brady. “Marcia, Marcia, Marcia!” I had no one to blame for things I didn’t do, so my uncles and aunts took total advantage of that. I come from a huge family, and I was a target for being fucked with. That didn’t help much at all, so my room and my head became my family.

What is your advice to other people that want to get started doing what you do? Eat your veggies, don’t do drugs and stay in school! Oh, and eat your meat! If you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?!?

What are some of the projects you’ve worked on/finished in the past? Give us a little history if you will.
I’ve played in a few thrash and metal bands in the late 80’s early 90’s opening up for Sacred Reich, Death Angel, etc. Then I went on to promote bands and do artwork for promotional materials, and ran websites and fan clubs for about 4 years. From there, I started up my own business continuing the graphic arts stuff, and learning new things like video editing and keeping up to date with new technology. I still can’t believe I used to design websites in “MS Paint”. About 2 years ago, I got involved with an art collective and started throwing shows. Met a lot of people and helped other collectives while participating in their events as well. So basically, whoring myself out to the masses.
Dude, I still do layout in MS Paint. It’s a solid, versatile program and I’ve figured out how to do a lot with it out of necessity. But I finally unpacked a cracked Adobe Creative Suite so I try to play with that every now and then but the learning curve is fucking STEEP.
Really? Haha. I should try using it again for some of my digital work. That would be a hoot.
I seriously used MS Paint to design the promotional postcards for my book project tonight and they came out pretty snazzy. You just have to know how to twerk it.
Nice! Now I really wanna give it a shot and try to reproduce something I did in Photoshop, in Paint. Thanks for the inspiration!

What projects are you working on now?
My business model for graphics has graduate from MHRE (Imagery) to MHNHN (Imagination). It is planned to be an online outlet to help promote artists, but also develop other outlets for interactivity. The first projects I worked on recently were artist trading cards. But I soon plan to delve into more video and collaborations in order to get artists outside of their comfortable zone and be exposed to new ideas and creative outlets.

What are you watching?
Walking Dead, Duck Dynasty, The Food Network.

What are you listening to?
Slayer! Slayer, and a little bit of Slayer. I also like Lhasa De Sela, Simon and Garfunkel, Depeche Mode, Rob Zombie, and Deadmau5.
Slayer! Is the right answer to most of life’s questions.
When in doubt, SLAYER!
SLAYER!

What are you reading?
I don’t read. I can, but I prefer not to.

Favorite author/book?
Never been a big reader. I try to stray from being influence by the words of others. I dip into a few here and there, but haven’t read a book from front to back since grade school.

Favorite band/song?
Slayer – Praise of Death

Least favorite band/song?
Crash Test Dummies – Mmm Mmm Mmm song. UGH!

Desert Island Music/Movies/Books: You know the deal. Five of each.

Music

1.    Slayer

2.    Led Zeppelin

3.    Pink Floyd

4.    Iron Maiden

5.    Rob Zombie

Movies

1.    Halloween

2.    Fiddler on the Roof

3.    Resident Evil

4.    Fast Times at Ridgemont High

5.    Terms of Endearment

Books

N/A

If you could do anything other than what you do now, what would you do?
I would open a gallery/bar and run it like no one’s business. If I had the opportunity and the means to put 80 hours a week into something like that, I’d be one happy camper.

Who would you want to meet that you haven’t met? You get three choices:

Alive – Crispin Glover

Dead – Jim Morrison

Fictional – E.T. I’d want to “Go home” with him.

What’s the best and worst job you’ve ever had?
Best was working for a video store that specialized in adult movies. Worst was at a paper mill pushing a button to “cut”. On my first day, that’s all I did for 4 hours. Went to lunch, and never went back.

Anyone you recommend I interview that you can put me in touch with?
Kat Monroe, Orlee Andromedae, Kari Ann (Fallen Rox).
Thanks! If they’re in your Facebook Friends list I’ll send them a Friend Request and an interview inquiry. Or you can tell them to find and add me.
Go ahead and contact them! Tell em Ralski sent ya.
I’ll do just that.
\m/

Got any questions for me?
Why must I be subject to physical pain 24/7? It’s wearing on my mental stability. Suggestions?
I’d suggest a Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drug. (NSAID) Etodolac is a pretty good one. That and I love myself some Valium. It helps me to get to sleep and provides me with restful sleep which I rarely get otherwise although I can’t find a doctor that will give me a regular prescription for it because they always think I’m a pillhead even though I’m not.
Oh I got the Valium on lockdown. Valium, Phenobarbitol, Tramadol, and Mylan are my daily snacks. That’s why I can’t blaze much anymore. Add booze and I’m already in a cloud.

Closing questions / summary / and thanks:
Big thanks to Black Mass and Lou Rusconi for introducing me to ya, and much thanks to Kat Monroe for giving my artwork a home. She rocks! And thank YOU for the opportunity to have my words projected throughout the interwebs! \m/
Yeah, those guys are some solid dudes and I’m glad to be acquainted with them!
You can read my interviews with them here:
Black Mass:
http://youareentitledtomyopinioninterviews.blogspot.com/2013/10/you-are-entitled-to-my-opinion_3338.html
Lou:
http://youareentitledtomyopinioninterviews.blogspot.com/2013/10/you-are-entitled-to-my-opinion_9334.html
Will do!

Thanks for allowing me to subject you to being interviewed!
Thanks for the opportunity to shore myself out! \m/

Pitch parade:
Give me all of your links for things you want to promote.   All of them.
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RalskiArt
Twitter: I don’t tweet
Website: www.ralski.com
Blog: https://www.facebook.com/RalskisWords
Etc.: Business (Art) www.mhnhn.com / Business (Creative Design) www.totalmhre.com

About the Interviewee:
Underground “Panic Artist” and Entrepreneur who works as an accounting clerk but is currently unemployed. He is not a follower, nor is he a leader. He likes to think of himself as a guide for others. In the past few years, he has resurfaced in the art community to offer his 15+ years of knowledge and share his creative flow. Through the dark memories of his life, his artistic creations stem from the elements of sounds, words and visuals that he perceives. However, these are merely fragments of his reality. His reality is not reality, but through the creative process, he tries to find some peace of mind. It's one thing to talk about what you are going to do, and another thing to share what you have done.
I have had the pleasure of working with the likes of music groups like: Kottonmouth Kings, The Corporate Avenger, Clutch, and Suicidal Tendencies. I’ve also been in circulation through the California art scene and plan to spread worldwide within the next 5 years! Lastly, I am working on publishing a book of poetry and prose in 2014, and getting a cover band together. A Panic Artist at large. XPLOR you MHNHN.

About the Interviewer:
Scott Lefebvre has probably read everything you've read and can write about whatever you want him to write about.
Mostly because when he was grounded for his outlandish behavior as a hyperactive school child, the only place he was allowed to go was the public library.
His literary tastes were forged by the works of Helen Hoke, Alvin Schwartz and Stephen Gammell, Ray Bradbury, Richard Matheson, Stephen King, Clive Barker, Edgar Allan Poe, and H. P. Lovecraft.
He is the author of Spooky Creepy Long Island and a contributing author to Forrest J. Ackerman’s Anthology of the Living Dead, Fracas: A Collection of Short Friction, The Call of Lovecraft, and Cashiers du Cinemart.
His reviews have been published by a variety of in print and online media including Scars Magazine, Icons of Fright, Fatally Yours and Screams of Terror, and he has appeared in Fangoria, Rue Morgue and HorrorHound Magazine.
He is the Assistant Program Director for The Arkham Film Society and produces Electronic Music under the names Master Control and LOVECRAFTWORK.
He is currently working on a novel-length expansion of a short-story titled, "The End Of The World Is Nigh", a crowd-funded, crowd-sourced, post-apocalyptic, zombie epidemic project.
You can check out the blog for the book here: theendoftheworldisnighbook.blogspot.com
You can check out the Facebook Fan Page for the project here: www.facebook.com/TheEndOfTheWorldIsNighBook
You can check his author profile at: www.amazon.com/Scott-Lefebvre/e/B001TQ2W9G
You can follow him at GoodReads here:
www.goodreads.com/author/show/1617246.Scott_Lefebvre
You can check out his electronic music here: soundcloud.com/master_control
And here: master-control.bandcamp.com
You can check out his videos at: www.youtube.com/user/doctornapoleon
You can check out his IMDB profile here: www.imdb.com/name/nm3678959
You can follow his Twitter here: twitter.com/TheLefebvre or @TheLefebvre
You can follow his Tumblr here: thelefebvre.tumblr.com
You can check out his Etsy here: www.etsy.com/people/arkhamscreenings
You can join the group for The Arkham Film Society here:
www.facebook.com/groups/arkhamscreenings
You can stalk his Facebook at: www.facebook.com/TheLefebvre
You can e-mail him at: Scott_Lefebvre@hotmail.com