Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Interview with Josh Hadley.

Full Name:
Josh "Chainsaw" Hadley (You are not getting my middle name, I hate it).

Do you have a nickname or what do your friends call you?
In high school I was called "Chainsaw" due to my love of horror movies... 
I think that seriously must be the coolest nickname yet. I’m going to change your first answer so that it’s your middle name, because it should be.
You can't change me, you can't change me man...
Oh, but I can and did.


Current hometown: 
Wait, current hometown? You can have more than one?
I suppose so if you interpret it as “Where do you live?”
A hometown by definition is the town you had your home in, as the place you grew up... I live on Earth in the Sol system of the Milky Way Galaxy.
By definition quit being a jerk.

Favorite city and why? 
Not sure, I don't travel that much but I will tell you that I hate Milwaukee Wisconsin more than any other... it is the armpit of Wisconsin.
Least favorite city is an acceptable alternative answer.
Milwaukee is like a diseased hooker with vag rot so Milwaukee. 

Birthday / Age: 
The first day of Pieces in the year of nineteen hundred and seventy five. 

How would you describe yourself physically? 
I would use words mostly but that would make it verbal and not physical.
Or, in this case, literal.

How would someone else describe you physically? 
I would guess the same as the above answer only with more punching and kicking.

The first thing people notice about you is… 
That I exist.

Hair Color/Eye Color/Race? 
Yes to all 3. 

Sexual orientation? 
Why? Do you know someone?
I know a guy that knows a guy.

Religion, if any?  
Religion is a crutch for the weak-minded in a desperate attempt to not feel alone in the universe.
Couldn’t agree more, sir!
Um... thanks I think...

Are you superstitious at all? Any phobias?
Is that like being extra special stitious?
Extra special super duper stitious. So, are you?

Do you smoke/drink?   If so, what?   Any bad habits? 
I drink water and milk and juice and soda and I smoke the air as it burns... not cigarettes but the air itself... YEAH.  Why would a nun's costume be bad and what does that have to do with anything?
A nun’s costume in and of itself is neither good nor bad. You, in a nun’s costume, on the other hand would probably elicit some cognitive dissonance. I get jokes.
We will have nun of that kind of talk now.

Current occupation / Dream job: 
Is lazy do nothing big mouth bum an occupation? If so, I am living the dream.

What do you like to do when you’re not at work? 
Well since jerking off counts as work for me I am not sure...
I hope you mean figuratively jerking off. Unless you figured out how to monetize being on Chat Roulette, and if you have, tell me how, I could use a part-time job doing what I love.
I have not monetized it just yet, but once I stop chaffing I have a few ideas.
I recommend a decent hand lotion. Maybe go with an unscented one unless you want people to think you’re into fucking food when they smell your dick.

What is your zombie outbreak survival plan? 
Can't tell you, then you would know it when you are a zombie.
Coincidentally, Justin Aerni gave me an excellent answer from the premeditated zombie point-of-view that I asked him if I could use in my post-apocalyptic zombie epidemic novel-length book project.
You are zombiecentric, I can't trust you.
I admit, if zombiecentric was a religion I’d probably sign up.

Weapon of choice: 
What are those things called that suck out fetuses? That is a weapon of choice.
I believe they’re called “Abortionizers”.
Is that the official term?  If so that is AWESOME.
It is now.

Do you have any special skills? 
Like retarded skilled "special"?
The questions are open to interpretation, sir.

Did you go to college and, if so, what for? 
Waa, huh?

If you went to college, did you manage to pay off your student loans? 
Huh, waa?

Any pets?   If so, what are they and what are their names? 
I don't have pets, sure, I have animals that live in my house but they are free to exist as they choose... as long as they do what I tell them to.  3 dogs (Sisko, Nicodemus, Howler), 2 cats (Ripley and Newt), 5 bunnies (Tor Johnson, Ectar, China White and the twins Elvira and Vampira). 

What is your favorite animal? 
What do you have against Owls you elitist prick?
All hail the great and mighty Molech scourge of children!

Speaking of pets, any pet peeves? 
Is that like a skeeve?  Spiders skeeve me out.
Not exactly. These are pet peeves.
Things I Hate.

Favorite / Least favorite Food: 
Is Pizza really a food or more of a tight collection of other foods consumed simultaneously?
That is an excellent question. If they made sushi/nachos pizza I would never have to eat another food.
Is something food though if you don't have to cook it like sushi?  I mean sticks are not food, but you can eat them.
You can eat dick but I wouldn’t call it food. No. Really. Eat a dick.

What is your favorite quotation/motto/saying? 
I think that "" is a good quote, I mean it literally is a quote is it not?

What is the best thing that ever happened to you? 
Not this text interview.
You and me both.
See, even you hate you.
At least I’m in good company.

 What is the worst thing that ever happened to you?  
This text interview.
See preceding.
Self loather.
Guilty as charged.
A lot of people think that I think that I’m awesome.
I am pretty awesome, but I’m definitely not as in love with myself as people think I am.

Ever had your heart broken? Is there a story worth telling behind your answer? 
If my heart broke I would be dead, we don't have those huge plastic robohearts from Robocop yet. 

Ever broken someone’s heart? Is there a story worth telling behind your answer? 
Legally I can't talk about that... I was acquitted and the judge said it was not murder in the eyes of the law.

What is the best thing you’ve ever done? 
Like in a sexual sense?  I don't brag like that.
Then how about in a non-sexual sense.
Every good thing I do is sexual so I don't brag like that.

What is the worst thing you’ve ever done? 

If you could kill one person, consequence free, who would it be and why? 
What is your name again?

What do you do?  
I do this.
Yes, but when you’re not doing this, what do you do?
I do this... are you slow?

How did you get started doing what you do? 
I started doing this and I just did it.

What is your advice to other people that want to get started doing what you do? 
Doing what? This?
Yes, this.
And your answer would probably be “Don’t.”
I get it.
If you don’t want to promote yourself I can’t make you.

Being a no good useless warehouse of movie knowledge is a thankless job and I for one encourage everyone to try it, like screwing a tranny, you have to try it at least once man.

What are some of the projects you’ve worked on/finished in the past? Give us a little history if you will. 
Everything at is what I have finished... duh... I thought you knew this shit before we entered into this.
I listened to almost every episode of Radiodrome until you and your co-host decided to do a music show. Your co-host has really terrible taste in music. I have a general policy of avoiding Toto, and your podcast violated that rule.
We never did a music show and yes, other than Dune Toto sucks ass.
You totally did a music show. See? Even you don’t pay attention to your shows!

What projects are you working on now? 
I am not telling you, you think I don't know that you are trying to steal my thoughts as it is?
You podcast. All of your thoughts are public domain.
I tried to copyright my thoughts but I was told only things of value can be copyrighted.
Well-played, sir.

What are you watching? 
A screen with black text against a white background.
Thanks, Captain Literal!
Hey, you asked.

What are you listening to? 
Myself type.
Excellent answer, Mister Obvious!
Again, don't ask if you don't like the answer.

What are you reading? 
The things I am typing.
Well said, Major Smart Ass!
Fuck you, I am a captain, not a major.

Favorite author / book? 
Harlan Ellison Mefisto In Onyx

Favorite band / song? 

Least favorite band / song? 
What is yours?  It's that.
Radio Tuned To The Sounds Of Hearts Breaking” by Drowningman
I hate that.
You would.

Desert Island Music / Movies / Books: You know the deal. Five of each. 
How do you have an island of deserts?  Like an island made out of ice cream and shit?
No, but I would love to visit a dessert island!

If you could do anything other than what you do now, what would you do
I would do you mom and make you watch.
*your. And you’d probably be doing her a favor. She’d eat a sweet young thing like you alive. I don’t think you could handle my mom. I think SHE would handle YOU.
I have taken on far worse mountains than the kooze you escaped from... I would wreck her and then maybe do you as a finsher.
*finisher. And if you tried to fuck me I would rip your dick off and rape you with it.
Remember every time someone told you to go fuck yourself? Yeah. That.

Who would you want to meet that you haven’t met? You get three choices: 
Jello Biafra
George Carlin

What’s the best and worst job you’ve ever had? 
How can it be the best and worst at the same time?
The money could be good and the job itself could suck.
Oh, so any job then.
Yeah, pretty much.

Are there any questions that I didn’t ask that you wished I had asked that you would like to answer now? 
No, I didn't even want to answer these...
Well thanks for playing along anyway.
I didn't play along at all, have you not read my previous answers?
You answered, which is more than I can say for most of the people that I asked if they wanted to be interviewed and said that they would.
So thanks at least for following through.

Anyone you recommend I interview that you can put me in touch with? 
Interview Hart Fisher... hehehe
I don’t get the reference.
Interview him... you will.

Got any questions for me? 
Why do you insist on beating your wings against the glass in a vain attempt to be relevant?
I tried to get people to interview me for a project I was working on and trying to promote. I sent out a press release / interview request to around two dozen print and online resources and got fuck all nothing in reply. I figure it shouldn’t be that hard to get an interview so I decided to start up an interview blog to help people promote their body of work and upcoming projects.
Man, you are lonely aren't you?
Not really.
I don’t like a lot of people.
I often find myself happiest spending time by myself working on projects.
If anything this blog gives me a chance to practice interacting with other humans.
In case you couldn’t tell I’m not very good at it.

Follow-up questions and thanks:
Thanks for letting me subject you to being interviewed! 

Pitch parade: 
Give me all of your links for things you want to promote.   All of them.
About the Interviewee: 
I am a harsh film critic with no sense of subtlety or tact (evidenced by my shows Lost in the Static, Radiodrome, What the Fuck?!?!, and It Came from Beyond Midnight). I tend to love non-mainstream films, not out of a sense of ‘rebellion’ or non-conformity but out of the sense that most of what is popular is shit and that by definition the mainstream will be MAINSTREAM and therefore useless. I am easily approachable and I love to hear feedback from people, both positive (lies) and negative (truth) so please, call me out on the stupid shit I say and do.

About the Interviewer:
Scott Lefebvre has probably read everything you've read and can write about whatever you want him to write about.
Mostly because when he was grounded for his outlandish behavior as a hyperactive school child, the only place he was allowed to go was the public library.
His literary tastes were forged by the works of Helen Hoke, Alvin Schwartz and Stephen Gammell, Ray Bradbury, Richard Matheson, Stephen King, Clive Barker, Edgar Allan Poe, and H. P. Lovecraft.
He is the author of Spooky Creepy Long Island and a contributing author to Forrest J. Ackerman’s Anthology of the Living Dead, Fracas: A Collection of Short Friction, The Call of Lovecraft, and Cashiers du Cinemart.
His reviews have been published by a variety of in print and online media including Scars Magazine, Icons of Fright, Fatally Yours and Screams of Terror, and he has appeared in Fangoria, Rue Morgue and HorrorHound Magazine.
He is the Assistant Program Director for The Arkham Film Society and produces Electronic Music under the names Master Control and LOVECRAFTWORK.
He is currently working on a novel-length expansion of a short-story titled, "The End Of The World Is Nigh", a crowd-funded, crowd-sourced, post-apocalyptic, zombie epidemic project.
Check out the blog for the book here:
Check out the Facebook Fan Page for the project here:
Check his author profile at:
Follow him at GoodReads here:
Check out his electronic music here:
And here:
Check out his videos at:
Check out his IMDB profile here:
Follow his Twitter here: or @TheLefebvre
Follow his Tumblr here:
Check out his Etsy here:
Join the group for The Arkham Film Society here:
Stalk his Facebook at:
E-mail him at:

OPTIONAL: Prove you’re not a replicant. 
Question 1: 
A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't, not without your help, but you're not helping. Why is that?
Why am I not helping it? 
Question 2: 
Describe in single words, only the good things that come in to your mind about your mother.

You want me to talk about my mother?

Question 3: 
It's your birthday. Someone gives you a calfskin wallet.

I would not accept and I would turn that person in.

Question 4: 
You've got a little boy. He shows you his butterfly collection plus the killing jar.

I would shame him and have him start killing people like a real serial killer.

Question 5: 
You're watching television. Suddenly you realise there's a wasp crawling on your arm.

I would wonder how Blackie Lawless got into my house.

Question 6: 
You're reading a magazine. You come across a full-page nude photo of a girl. You show it to your husband. He likes it so much he hangs it on your bedroom wall.
I don't have a husband but sure... if my wife is into chicks that is all cool.
Question 8: 
You're watching a stage play. A banquet is in progress. The guests are enjoying an appetizer of raw oysters. The entree consists of boiled dog.

What, no question 7?  You magnificent bastard, I READ YOUR BOOK.
RESULT: Indeterminate. You may be a replicant.

No comments:

Post a Comment