Saturday, November 2, 2013

Interview with Justin Beahm

Full Name:

Justin Frankenstein Beahm


Current hometown:
Los Angeles vicinity.

Favorite city and why?
Wisconsin Dells, Wisconsin because many of my most cherished childhood memories are from time with my family there. And it is one of the most beautiful places in the country.
I looked it up on Google. Mostly it was just pictures of a waterpark and some weather worn cliffs standing up out of water. If I ever go there, I’d better bring my bathing suit.

December 14th

Hair Color / Eye Color / Race?
Brown, brown

Sexual orientation?

Religion, if any?
Making people happy and experiencing as much
as I can.
That’s not a bad religion as far as religions go.

Are you superstitious at all?
When I first hit the ice for a game of hockey, I have to skate to the goalie net and tap some part of it with my stick. For some reason. I don’t know why.

Do you smoke/drink?

Any bad habits?
Not saying “no” more.

Current occupation / Dream job:
I am lucky enough to report that my occupations are my dream jobs: writer and filmmaker.
You lucky dog, you!
Yeah, I am definitely fortunate!

What do you like to do when you’re not at work?
I don’t understand this “not at work” thing. Tell me more!
Supposedly it’s what normal people do most of the time. I don’t know what it is either, but it sounds like something I’d be interested in checking out sometime.

What is your zombie outbreak survival plan?
Walk faster than the horde, find a camera and a bunch of drives and a generator that runs on solar and wind and shoot the whole thing. Then I will allow myself to get chewed on a bit so I can become one. I must know what that feels like.
That is an excellent answer.

Weapon of choice:
Being reasonable.

Do you have any special skills?
Taking the high road.

Did you go to college and, if so, what for?
Yes. Journalism.

What is your favorite animal?

Speaking of pets, any pet peeves?
Unkind people and when someone replaces letters with numbers in the middle of words. Example: “Se7en”
That burns my eyes.
I used to have a ghost-writing client that would text me “C U” for “See you…”
I finished the assignment we were working on since I had contracted with her to finish it, but when she hit me up for more work I passed on it. I may need money, but not that badly.

Favorite / Least favorite Food:
Favorite: Indian food is the best!
Least: anything with meat.

What is your favorite quotation / motto / saying?
“You miss 100% of the shots you never take.” – Wayne Gretzky

What is the best thing that ever happened to you?
Being born.

What is the worst thing that ever happened to you?
Having my spleen removed.
Did you really have your spleen removed? Can you even live without a spleen? What does the spleen even do? Are you a cyborg?
Yeah, I had it removed quite a while ago. Your spleen cleans your blood...kind of like a filter. My blood is now unfiltered, so I should charge more for it.

If you could kill one person, consequence free, who would it be and why?
Myself. So I could feel the sensation and return to tell the tale (presuming the lack of consequence would mean I come back to life).
I love it when interviewees take the questions at an odd angle, I seriously do.

What do you do?
I do my best to capture the incessant bleeding from my heart and head and do something productive with it.

How did you get started doing what you do?
Having teachers who believed in the scribbling I was doing, and who pushed me to believe it was something I could make a living with.

What is your advice to other people that want to get started doing what you do?
Listen to your heart, be kind to people, and carve your own path.

What are some of the projects you’ve worked on/finished in the past?
Give us a little history if you will.
I am a writer with Fangoria, a filmmaker, and a producer.

What projects are you working on now?
I am working on a few titles for Scream Factory, on several feature films, a couple of short films, and in the process of scrubbing toxic elements from my world.
Usually when people say that they’re “cleaning the toxic elements out of their life” it means I get dropped as an imaginary friend on Facebook.

What are you watching?
Right now I have ANTICHRIST by Lars von Trier playing.
That’s a good one. I’m watching the Death Race movies while editing interviews because I don’t exactly have to pay attention to the plot to figure out what’s going on.
Good choice!! ARE talking about the original Death Race 2000, right?
Oh, no, I was talking about the Death Race remakes from 2008 & 2010 respectively. I have, like, 6,000 films in AVI format on an external drive and I was trying to clear up some space and I figured those films were “one & done” viewings and I was right, at least in my opinion. The first, although totally forgettable, was great background viewing with tons of pointless violence and explosions and little plot to distract viewers and make their brain hurt by having to think. The second one, a prequel, if you can believe it, was pretty execrable. It was half American Gladiators meets prison fights, and didn’t even get to the Death Race part till the second half. But I did cleanse my Death Race palate by watching the original Death Race 2000 for the first time last night. Okay, I admit, I have some catching up to do, but at least I’m working on it. And I was totally surprised to see Sylvester Stallone as one of the racers. Today I’m spending the day getting caught up on digital VHS mixtapes. First up is Everything Is Terrible – The Movie.

What are you listening to?
My months-long obsession with Chelsea Wolfe persists.
I checked out the video for Mer, and the immediately went onto Pirate Bay to download everything of hers I could download. I know downloading torrents is a dick move, but if she tours out this way I’ll gladly pay the admission to see her perform in person. It’s like if PJ Harvey and Mazzy Star had an illegitimate daughter. Excellent stuff. Thanks for turning me on to her.

What are you reading?
New York Girls by Richard Kern
I didn’t know Kern wrote books too. What would you say is your favorite of his NY Hardcore films?
Photo books. I really love ‘Death Valley 69’, ‘Manhattan Love Suicides’, ‘Fingered’, and ‘The Bitches’ on there. ‘Sewing Circle’ gets an honorable mention.
Alright, honesty time, I’m only really familiar with “You Killed Me First” and the Henry Rollins / Lydia Lunch experimental spoken word trash porno “The Right Side Of My Brain”. I downloaded The Cinema of Transgression Vol, 1 and Richard Kern’s Hardcore DVDs so I’m looking forward to having the opportunity to get caught up on that stuff, but, alas, there are only so many hours in a day.

If you could do anything other than what you do now, what would you do?
The other day I visited a pier outside of San Diego, California, and there was a little souvenir stand that sold plastic sharks, bracelets, fishing lures, and other miscellaneous stuff. I would love to be the guy who runs that.
Sounds like a nice life.

Who would you want to meet that you haven’t met? You get three choices:
Alive: My birth father
Dead: Edgar A Poe
Fictional: Lyle Talbot

What’s the best and worst job you’ve ever had?
Best: What I do now. Worst: Detassling corn.
I didn’t know what detassling corn was.
Now I do thanks to Team Corn. Yay Team Corn!
It was horrible, but good for a 15 year old kid to experience.

Got any questions for me?
What or who is your muse?
I’ve always been “different” and over time I developed the delusion that maybe that meant I was destined for greatness. So far greatness has eluded me. I perform creatively in a variety of different professions so I always hope that someday something I’m doing will catch on and I’ll catch the last train to wealth and fame.
Also I’ve got a bit of the Bill Hicks “fame and fortune as a way to reap revenge on ex-girlfriends by ending up being a guest on a late night talk show” in me.

Pitch parade:
Give me all of your links for things you want to promote.   All of them.


About the Interviewee:
I am a sponge, a conduit, a preservationist, and have an insatiable appetite for organic unfiltered artistic expression.

About the Interviewer:
Scott Lefebvre has probably read everything you've read and can write about whatever you want him to write about.
Mostly because when he was grounded for his outlandish behavior as a hyperactive school child, the only place he was allowed to go was the public library.
His literary tastes were forged by the works of Helen Hoke, Alvin Schwartz and Stephen Gammell, Ray Bradbury, Richard Matheson, Stephen King, Clive Barker, Edgar Allan Poe, and H. P. Lovecraft.
He is the author of Spooky Creepy Long Island and a contributing author to Forrest J. Ackerman’s Anthology of the Living Dead, Fracas: A Collection of Short Friction, The Call of Lovecraft, and Cashiers du Cinemart.
His reviews have been published by a variety of in print and online media including Scars Magazine, Icons of Fright, Fatally Yours and Screams of Terror, and he has appeared in Fangoria, Rue Morgue and HorrorHound Magazine.
He is the Assistant Program Director for The Arkham Film Society and produces Electronic Music under the names Master Control and LOVECRAFTWORK.
He is currently working on a novel-length expansion of a short-story titled, "The End Of The World Is Nigh", a crowd-funded, crowd-sourced, post-apocalyptic, zombie epidemic project.
Check out the blog for the book here:
Check out the Facebook Fan Page for the project here:
Check his author profile at:
Follow him at GoodReads here:
Check out his electronic music here:
And here:
Check out his videos at:
Check out his IMDB profile here:
Follow his Twitter here: or @TheLefebvre
Follow his Tumblr here:
Check out his Etsy here:
Join the group for The Arkham Film Society here:
Stalk his Facebook at:
E-mail him at:

OPTIONAL: Prove you’re not a replicant.

Question 1:
A tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't, not without your help, but you're not helping. Why is that?

Is this to be an empathy test?

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